1. 10:55 2nd Mar 2010

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    OOC3d.6 March madness preview. This March, do yourself a favor and go see or avoid these movies at all costs. After you see the playschool thriller Brooklyn’s Finest perhaps you can wait another week before seeing Matt Damon’s War thriller The Green Zone. You will see this because it is topical and you have a fetish for war strategy; like War Games or Stratego. Also opening up next week is She’s Out of My League which will be certain to sink Jay Barchel from interesting supporting character to mediocre leading man. I could be wrong. March 12th is also the night which Suicide Girls Must Die opens in limited theaters. If you are not apart of the site nor a mouth breathing creep you will probably wait for this to hit DVD or late night cinemax. Shortly after Saint Patrick’s day, a wheelbarrow of movies comes to theaters. I tried to come up with a different analogy for a large sum but wheelbarrow was all I was given. If you like Gerald Butler in romantic comedies then your a fucking moron but if you are cool with that then go see The Bounty Hunter. If you do not like romantic comedies, nor Gerald Butler, or if you are looking for an awkward first date pick, go see the erotic thriller Chloe before erotic thrillers become a thing of the past. God, I wish there was some other way I could see nudity without sitting through 90 minutes of pointless dialogue. This weekend also marks the release of the exciting Hubble 3D and Diary of a Wimpy Kid. My vote is on the actionless NASA documentary taking top seat over the popular YA book adaptation at the box office. Some people may notice that this weekend is also the release of Girl With the Dragon Tattoo a Swedish film based on the Swedish crime thriller. Everyone  seems to like this because its foreign and its author died mysteriously after completing this Scandinavian trilogy.  I read halfway through the first book before it became an icky rape fantasy. I’m sure there are more amazing parts to the book but the started to wear on me when the rogue but beautiful hacker was introduced. If anyone disagrees with my assessment of the Davinci Code en SVENSKA then they can contact me and convince me to accept rape as a viable and creative plot device. go ahead - I dare you. But holy shit I’m not done, nearing the end of March is the release of Hot Tub Time Machine; a film which may be so self aware that it may pass scrutiny but fail to garner any attention. Hopefully it will be better than Accepted. Hopefully it wont have Lewis Black. If anyone has a girlfriend who has a interest in animation coupled with an obsessed with dragons then you can find me, possibly on opening day, at How to Train Your Dragon. At least I wont look half as creepy as when I went by myself to Prince Caspian. What? Can’t a guy travel to Narnia by himself in the back row without getting stares. Fuck Almighty. Perhaps I could convince her to see Waking Sleeping Beauty a documentary on the last days of traditional Disney animation or perhaps Bluebeard; an postmodern telling on the violent french fairytale. Finally, March is the supposed release of Repo Men, which has no relation to genetic operas or amazing 80’s Sci Fi movies. This thriller tells the tale of the future ruled by a corporation where people are hunted for organ transplants. The movie stars Jude Law, forest Whitaker and the fucking RZA. Some people may stoop to low brow by making a passing reference to one of the film’s actors and the general premise of this movie. I am not one of those people. I do not need to make eye jokes to illcit humor. Cheap Philistine Trash. Please follow me for more film updates and listen to me stutter through my thoughts at Out Of Commission. I promise only 25 % of my thoughts are clearly conveyed while the rest sits on top a wheelbarrow of vocal stammers and shame. _kaptain Carbon

    OOC3d.6

    March madness preview.

    This March, do yourself a favor and go see or avoid these movies at all costs. After you see the playschool thriller Brooklyn’s Finest perhaps you can wait another week before seeing Matt Damon’s War thriller The Green Zone. You will see this because it is topical and you have a fetish for war strategy; like War Games or Stratego. Also opening up next week is She’s Out of My League which will be certain to sink Jay Barchel from interesting supporting character to mediocre leading man. I could be wrong. March 12th is also the night which Suicide Girls Must Die opens in limited theaters. If you are not apart of the site nor a mouth breathing creep you will probably wait for this to hit DVD or late night cinemax.

    Shortly after Saint Patrick’s day, a wheelbarrow of movies comes to theaters. I tried to come up with a different analogy for a large sum but wheelbarrow was all I was given. If you like Gerald Butler in romantic comedies then your a fucking moron but if you are cool with that then go see The Bounty Hunter. If you do not like romantic comedies, nor Gerald Butler, or if you are looking for an awkward first date pick, go see the erotic thriller Chloe before erotic thrillers become a thing of the past. God, I wish there was some other way I could see nudity without sitting through 90 minutes of pointless dialogue. This weekend also marks the release of the exciting Hubble 3D and Diary of a Wimpy Kid. My vote is on the actionless NASA documentary taking top seat over the popular YA book adaptation at the box office. Some people may notice that this weekend is also the release of Girl With the Dragon Tattoo a Swedish film based on the Swedish crime thriller. Everyone  seems to like this because its foreign and its author died mysteriously after completing this Scandinavian trilogy.  I read halfway through the first book before it became an icky rape fantasy. I’m sure there are more amazing parts to the book but the started to wear on me when the rogue but beautiful hacker was introduced. If anyone disagrees with my assessment of the Davinci Code en SVENSKA then they can contact me and convince me to accept rape as a viable and creative plot device. go ahead - I dare you.

    But holy shit I’m not done, nearing the end of March is the release of Hot Tub Time Machine; a film which may be so self aware that it may pass scrutiny but fail to garner any attention. Hopefully it will be better than Accepted. Hopefully it wont have Lewis Black. If anyone has a girlfriend who has a interest in animation coupled with an obsessed with dragons then you can find me, possibly on opening day, at How to Train Your Dragon. At least I wont look half as creepy as when I went by myself to Prince Caspian. What? Can’t a guy travel to Narnia by himself in the back row without getting stares. Fuck Almighty. Perhaps I could convince her to see Waking Sleeping Beauty a documentary on the last days of traditional Disney animation or perhaps Bluebeard; an postmodern telling on the violent french fairytale.

    Finally, March is the supposed release of Repo Men, which has no relation to genetic operas or amazing 80’s Sci Fi movies. This thriller tells the tale of the future ruled by a corporation where people are hunted for organ transplants. The movie stars Jude Law, forest Whitaker and the fucking RZA. Some people may stoop to low brow by making a passing reference to one of the film’s actors and the general premise of this movie. I am not one of those people. I do not need to make eye jokes to illcit humor. Cheap Philistine Trash.

    Please follow me for more film updates and listen to me stutter through my thoughts at Out Of Commission. I promise only 25 % of my thoughts are clearly conveyed while the rest sits on top a wheelbarrow of vocal stammers and shame.

    _kaptain Carbon