Out Of Commission (3d)
OOC3d.17
Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn
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Alright. It is true. In episode 43, I mentioned how “Call of Cthulhu” was one of the best adaptations of an HP Lovecraft story. Allow me to fill you in on a complicated back story and needless details.
The Call of Cthulhu is the flagship story in a mythos which spans several stories writers and decades. Published in 1928, Call of Cthulhu tells multiple accounts of the resurrection of a forgotten metadimensional monster. The multiple accounts range from dreams and eye witness accounts of sailors, police, social savages and academics. The antagonist in the story is only apart of a complex pantheon of gods which share a universe comprising of the conscious world and the unconscious. The terror of Lovecraft’s stories rest in the tension with an unknowable horror. The fear of the unexplainable could be highlighted at this section. Within Lovecraft’s world rests the normal and explainable surrounded by a wall in constant decay. These holes in the knowable are where some of his most beloved stories come to life. For the most part, Lovecraft stories rarely end in a dramatic sword fight or with any sense of closure.The complexity with Lovecraft mythos is also compounded by legions of writers and metal bands paying tribute and adding to the cycle of stories.
Lovecraft adaptations in popular media fail most of the time because they do not allow the subtle horror and psychological terror to permeate through the story. While most of Lovecraft’s monsters are towering aliens with tentacles; they will never stomp through a city blowing gamma radiation on toy tanks. Few films have been full adaptations of Lovecraft stories. In 1995, At The Mountains Of Madness took multiple Lovecraft elements and threw them into a story. More recent, Dagon was an adaptation of Shadow Over Insamouth. The Dunwitch Horror has been made a couple of times including an awfully amazing syfy Sunday movie.
The HP Lovecraft Historical Society is a California based dramatic company bent on recreating Lovecracft mythos in various media. They are responsible for the musicals; Shoggoth on the Roof and A Very Scary Solstace. Aside from comedic musical numbers; the HPLCHS constructs and preforms radio drama for various Lovecraft stories. This nostalgia for older mediums dominates their film “Call Of Cthulhu.”
Cthulhu is a film in the style of a silent movie. Despite the artistic tag of “in the style” Cthulhu has every intention of replicating the look and feel of a silent movie. Despite obvious budget restriction, it does a decent job. Some high points include film pulsing, heavy handed makeup and high contrasts to the point of being washed out. If any era of silent film is intending to be mimicked; it would be German Expressionism. As stated before no amount of effects can replicate rudimentary film equipment. No matter how hard your try, your camera is too expensive to make your movie look old. Additionally, minor points such as zooming, use of flashbacks, editing and camera angles anchor this film in the 2000’s. But hey; they did an admirable job. The film’s use of the silent motif enhances the long bits of dialogue which unthinkably fills in the plot with a cohesive story. The low budget for this movie also adds to the overall charm where creativity trumps realism. The dream sequences and backgrounds are made of cardboard and the monster is a claymated puppet. The ending for the film feels less like a movie and more like the greatest high school play ever directed by Michael Gondry.
The film is 46 minutes long and available on netflix streaming. It is worth it not only for Lovecraft fans but also interested parties with 46 minutes to spare. this post is but the first entry into my lovecraft diaries. Please stay tuned for a detailed analysis of lovecraftian Heavy Metal.
-Detective Graves
OOC3d.16
Y The Last Man and other Forgotten News
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First of all I would like to thank everyone who subscribed to our podcast and emailed us over the last week. Second of all I must say that this is my second time writing this post as the first time my browser crashed sweeping away all of my hard work. Some of you may wonder why I do all of my work inside the blog itself. This is only answered by a desire to mutter obscenities at my computer and slowly punch my knee.
Despite the setbacks we will prevail. We are a small podcast, at the moment, but we have large hearts and even larger inflated egos. Step back while we chew glass, drink moonshine and shit large vases.
Sometime news, is intentionally forgotten whether this be intentional or accidental. Case in point, the last two episodes of OOC3d did not get around to discussing a few points I had researched. This could be due to the over abundance of film news and rumors or that Epileptic Peat and George force do not give two flying fucks about Brian K Vaughan news. Y the Last man is a simple story on the death of the male race save for one amateur escape artist and his monkey companion. The comic itself was decent, however, I did not Brian K Vaughan like it as much as my girlfriend who keeps pointing at her Runaways collection with a disapproving look. The adaptation of Vaughan’s story has been rumored to fall on the shoulders of Louis Leterrier (Transporter, Clash of the Titians). Leterrier’s announcement has broken a year silence surrounding the stalled adaptation. Before this, DJ Caruso (Distrubia, Eagle Eye) was rumored to direct the picture along with his trusted sidekick Shia LaBeouff as the main protagonist. Y the Last Man is far from my favorite comic book but it does have a decent story. I personally enjoyed the Transporter series but fail to see how Leterrier’s work will lend itself to such an actionless plot riddled with black humor. There are no krakens, superheroes or fast cars which defy laws of gravity.
Finally, this Christmas, audiences and children everywhere can relive the magic of Orson Wells with Christmas Tails. The movie will feature the voice of Wells telling the story of a dog that saved Christmas. Wells, who recorded the story before his death, gets little say in the adaptation of this tale. I have a few goals in life.
I doubt 75% of this audience will appreciate the depth of well’s work outside of citizen Kane and the Transformers animated movie. Here’s to you Orson and your dancing voice beyond the grave. Well that is going to do it for this retyped post. Please follow us on facebook and get a friend to read listen and learn.
-judge doom
OOC3d.15
Oh Jesus, not anime again
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I have tried to bring up anime and Manga news before on the podcast and was shut down faster than a comparable metaphor. Epileptic Peat has a personal vendetta against anything drawn or animated in Japan. Years of playing exhausting anime conventions have left a rotting, indescribable taste in his mouth. Anytime anime is brought up in conversation, Pete’s eyes go blank and his head lolls back like a comatose patient. What follows is a series of incessant whines which trump anything interesting I have to say. I on the other hand, enjoy the medium and keep my ear to the railroad tacks for any upcoming projects. I imagine this incredibly boring and painful for anyone not interested in anime. It is almost like being stuck inside a room with an anime fan. Despite being socially awkward he has an incredible gift for not shutting up about things you have no interest in. You can try to elude me but I will still show up behind you continuing my list of top ten Mechs of all time.
It finally looks like the rumors are true when it comes to the Bleach movie. This week it was announced that VIZ media and Warner Brothers will adapt the popular, never-ending, Manga into a movie. Peter Segal, will direct the film adding to his list of middle road family comedies. Segal’s body of work includes The Nutty Professor 2, The Longest Yard, Anger Management and the reboot of Get Smart. Expect gold from this project. I have never been a fan of Bleach, so the inevitable desecration of the story will hardly be noticed. I expect this new adaptation to be on the same quality level as the live action Deathnote and Dragonball which was almost like punching yourself repeatedly in the face.
The live action adaptation of the cyberpunk classic Akira has been in progress since the mid 90’s. Various directors and producers have been attached to this for years. The project has been in the lower stages of development hell along with Jurassic Park 4 and Vin Diesel’s Hannibal biopic. Last month, the Hughes Brothers revealed (hinted) they will be directing a two part movie set to be released in 2011 and 2012. The Hughes Brothers have been responsible for excellent movies such Menace II Society as well as baffling mediocre movies including From Hell and the Book OF Eli. It is not that I do not trust the Hughes Brothers - it is just my hope they realize how important Akira is to a lot of people, including myself.
Finally to wrap up this post; April is the month the Naoki Urasawa’s Pluto series ends in trade paperback. The series rearranges Osamu Tezuka’s Astro Boy into an existential crime noir set decades into the future. This series, in my opinion, is one of the best stories to come out in the last few years and I am deeply saddened it is closing the curtain. Urasawa is also the creator of the equally popular 20th Century boys which has been already made into a high budget Japanese movie. Goodluck to anyone trying to find copies. Well that is going to do it for today. I want to thank Pete for not finishing this post and stay tuned here and over at Warpath for more movie madness.
-Mr. Falcon
OOC3d.14
Internet Predators! Internet Predators!
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-Judge Doom
OOC3d.13
Fantasy Movie news
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First of all,I have to apologize for bringing you here under false pretenses. This update will have movie news, however, the types of information will mostly be revolving around the world of fantasy and its adaptations. Because I am the only one in the Out Of Commission crew who writes, you, the loyal readers are subjected to my interests. Once Epileptic Peat finally publishes his sex diaries, then you will have an option. And if ever George Force decides to write a weekly column on outdated movies and middle of the road television, then you will have the freedom of choice. Until that time you are stuck with me and my fascination with Dragons, swords and wizards.
Well the casting for the new Conan movie is complete with Rose McGowan (Grindhouse), Stephen Lang (the dickhead general in Avatar), Rachel Nichols (GI Joe), Ron Perlman (Hellboy), Said Taghmaoui (GI Joe) and Leo Howard (GI Joe) and of course Jason Momoa as the leading man. The film’s plot eerily resembles the 1982 film;
Despite personal opinions regarding the cast, the biggest disappointment is seeing they are just remaking the first film. It is not that the first movie was terrible, it was the piecemeal plot works only with strong icons like James Earl Jones and Arnold Schwarzenegger. The lazy rehash of an already lazy plot is dooming this awesome idea. There is no shortage of Conan source material. You could throw a dart at a stack of Robert E Howard books and have a better plot than the first movie. Come on guys lets get our shit together.
In Hobbit news….shooting for the Tolkien story; The Hobbit will begin in July deep within middle earth, New Zealand. The film, slated to be a two part feature,will be directed by Guillermo del Toro. Peter Jackson who owns part of Middle Earth now will serve as executive producer for the next two movies. Jackson is still rumored to be doing something with the Halo series. Personally, I am waiting for a followup to the Frighteners.
-Kaptain Carbon
OOC3d.12
Captain America Vs. The Axis
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Alright, I’ve completely given up here. In the total absence of substantial Batman 3 news I have gone slumming with Captain America. The popular all American superhero is going to be given a 2011 adaptation. Presumably set in the depths of World War 2, Captain America is most likely going to square off against evil anti American foes while flinging his sheild at haters of freedom. The hot topic around the water cooler is The Red Skull (played by Hugo Weaving) stepping up as Captain America’s main anatagonist. Captain America’s role has come down to a beefcake contest between a handful of rumored contestants. Channing Tatum (Gi Joe), Ryan Phillippe (anti-trust), Chris Evans (fantastic Four), Garrett Hedlun (Tron), Mike Vogel (cloverfeild), Sebastian Stan (Gossip girl), Wilson Bethel (Young and the Restless) and John Krasinski (The Office) are all playing a sweaty glistening game of King Of the Mountain. This would be a perfect time for a great joke about throwing myself in the middle of that fight, but that would be completely homoerotic and nonsensical. But it would be perfect. Damn it.
I have complete faith in Joe Johnston as a director with such films as Honey I Shrunk The Kids, The Rocketeer and Jurassic Park III as evidence. I have never been a fan of Captain America but for the sake of no Batman 3 news, I am willing to give him a try. At least for a little bit.
-Lieutenant Graves
OOC3d.11
Peter Graves Dead at 83
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We here at Out Of Commission pride ourselves in being up to the minute with movie news and unfortunately this means a lot of death. Tons. Today saw the passing of actor Peter Graves. Graves is best known his role as Captain Oveur in the comedy Airplane. While Airplane and Looney Tunes Back in Action are among Graves most recognizable work, it is his earlier movies that I would like to pay proper tribute. Graves’ finest work is perhaps the portrayal of Dr. Douglas Martin in the 1954 space epic Killers From Space.
The film is a gaze into the attitudes of America during the second phase of the Cold War. Stalin had just passed and the Cuban Missile Crisis was still fresh in the minds of many Americans. The fear of radiation and fallout haunted the collective psyche and those feelings are distilled and projected upon the silver screen. Killers from Space tells the story of Dr. Douglas Martin, a atomic scientist who has just found his life turned upside. After a mysterious plane crash, Martin finds himself a pawn in an intergalactic conspiracy bent on the destruction of earth.
1954 was an important time in radiation based science fiction films. This year also saw the release of the first Godzilla film. Basically, the entire world feared the destruction by an atomic bomb and the literature and films of this period reflected those fears. If the Japanese have Gojira, we can have KILLERS FROM SPACE. It is Grave’s finest hour next to Airplane and his cameo in Adams Family Values.
Older movies rock because they are available for free on the internet. It is raining out today and I feel like doing nothing but watch Peter Graves battle menacing aliens with ping pong ball eyes. Dr. Captain Graves; you will be missed. I hope that Killers From Space serves as a fitting tribute to your craft.
Movie: http://www.moviesfoundonline.com/killers_from_space.php
OOC3d.10
Corrections / Explanations / Apologies
We would like to thank our listeners for the support over the last couple of episodes. Our “Oscars VS the Grouch” episode is posted with a very special guest all the way from California. I would like to take this opportunity to make a few corrections heard in the last episode. We here at Warpath TV would like to stay on the winning side of integrity, so any chance I have to damage my credibility; I shall take.
When discussing the possibility of Big Momma’s House 3, I made the mistake of thinking Eddie Murphy played the role of Big Momma. For this I apologize. I know fully well that Martin Lawrence played that role and shouldn’t be confused with that other no talent hack who first put on a fat suit in a hilarious situational comedy. Epileptic Peat would also like to apologize to that one special NYC resident who threatened him from the other side of locked glass door on Oscar night. We do not want to rule you out as a listener so Warpath TV offers their apologies for making you seem needlessly violent. The whole staff apologizes for not reminding our listeners that sawVII will be in 3d and be released around Halloween. If we apologize for that then we have to make mention of Paranormal Activity 2 coming out sometime in fall. Apologies to the masturbating hobo on the D train. We should of not assumed you stole/lifted/found that smart phone in which you were using to complete your sensual act. We apologize to the Church of Scientology for George’s slanderous epithets.
We are sorry we did not mention any updates regarding the alien prequel directed by Ridley Scott somewhere after Robin Hood and the Red Riding trilogy. Because the alien universe is a parody of itself with the introduction of the predators, Scott will forget everything that happened in the last 20 years and start fresh. Despite this break with the franchise, do not be surprised if the predators somehow travel back in time and try fighting the Aliens of the past. The most recent news is that the project will be presented in…yep you guessed it…3D. I’m sure a ridiculous gimmick like 3d will give Alien the type of maturity it needs.
I talked, at length, about the best animated short category and a couple of movies nominated. Below is the full short “Logorama” which took away the Oscar. Despite its seemingly innocuous nature it is full of ridiculous profanity and violence so I would put a NSFW tag on this but then again why would you be watching movies at work anyway. Get back to your reports.
Finally, I wanted to thank my girlfreind who took time out of her day to refresh my memory of the Marvel universe including the inner workings of S.H.I.E.L.D and the timeline of X-men. Even though I was ready to go toe to toe with Jack Kirby there arose no oppurtunity to showcase my memorized knowledge. Maybe someday.
_kaptain carbon
OOC3d.9
The history of martian based literature can be divided into two eras: before Mariner 4 and after. In 1965, Mariner 4 took pictures of Mars debunking any theories that the foreign planet supported life. Martian literature before Mariner 4 showcased a planet full of lush alien vegetation. Conversely, a majority of Martian literature after 1965 fell into the inhabitable wasteland that we have now. The idea of Martian life was erroneously accepted as fact after observations by Giovanni Schiaparelli. This Italian stud of an astronomer thought he saw channels of water on the surface of mars and his mistake later transformed into a translation error giving us man made Martian canals. Because of the mistake, many people in the 1900’s believed the planet was inhabitable and looked much like Venice. At the turn of the 20th century, the idea of Martians and an inhabitable planet began to fade from science into the realm of fantasy. This change was supported by more scientific proof and a general shift from nimcompoopery to normalcy. At the turn of the 20th century some extraordinary martian literature was published including War of the Worlds, Doctor Omega and John Carter Of Mars.
John Carter of Mars is another name for the Barsoom series; a multi volume sword and planet epic written by Edgar Rice Burroughs. Burroughs to some is the father of the Tarzan character. To others, Rice is the creator of a vibrant foreign planet and an extraordinary science fantasy universe. The Barsoom series takes place on a dying martian planet amid danger, adventure and hot Martian love. Whether or not Rice was aware of such overtones, the Barsoom series mirrored popular opinion on martian life and topography. The Barsoom series catches the planet between the lush environment of fantasy and the wasteland of reality.
The only reason why I write this today is the news of Pixar and its planned 2012 release of John Carter Of Mars. Andrew Stanton, whose work includes both Finding Nemo and WALL-E is adapting the story for an animated fate. Because I am past the point of caring about movies, it is interesting the depths a studio will go to adapt a story. The Barsoom series has been written for almost a century and now rests in the public domain. Soon the vast expanse of literature will be planted with colored flags some with multiple stabs. To infinity and beyond? No that’s too lame.
OOC3d.8
in Wallace and Gromit news….
It has been more than 10 years since Nick Park’s animated short A Close Shave. 1995 brought the cap to a six year reign where Wallace and Gromit were the coolest thing on the planet. If you have not seen the three 30 minute animated shorts please stop right here and watch them. Ill wait.
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Alright, nice to have you back. I write this post in news of Nick Park’s defeat at the Oscars. Park’s most recent short A Matter of Loaf And Death was usurped by Nicolas Schmerkin’s Logorama. I completely agree with the decision not because the other nominated shorts were outstanding but because Loaf and Death isn’t all that great. Wallace and Gromit have fallen on hard times since their majestic golden in the early 90’s. Anything after A Close Shave had been sub par including the dull feature length films Curse Of The Were Rabbit and Chicken Run. Loaf and Death was Park’s return to the format which brought him initial fame. Despite a few clever parts and charming delivery, Park’s newest short fails to do anything but dredge up memories of previous, better films. First and foremost is the absence of a third character who the audience can enjoy. The robot, the penguin and the sheep have all become iconic third party characters in Park’s universe. Loaf and Death only offers a feminine poodle whose role in the story matters little. The actual narrative fails to be inventive or original and tips its hand within the first 15 minutes. The genius of Park’s shorts is their climatic crescendos The Wrong Trousers and A Close Shave both became sublime in the last 20 minutes of their running time. Loaf’s climax felt powerless and above all confusing without closure. While Loaf and Death is probably light years ahead of other animated films in intelligence and sophistication, it still rests in the meaty middle of Park’s oeuvre.
The animation industry has gone through leaps and bounds and the charming aspect of stop motion has been long forgotten for three dimension rendering and presentation. Because the style has become ridiculously unneeded, its place in the world has become that of darkroom photography and mix cassette tape. The act of stop motion itself has become a conscious effort to participate in an archaic and outdated process which will always be attached to the final product. Park’s films have become works of art in themselves for the construction of a stop motion universe.
Wallace and Gromit have been signed to a new British show “Wallace and Gromit’s World Of Inventions set to premiere on BBC1 this year. I realize that my last sentence made it seem like the two lumps of clay were living being capable of singing contracts. The show will be an introduction to inventors hosted by the bumbling Wallace and the silent Gromit. It is my only hope that Parks offering of Loaf and Death was a warm up to a glorious return to a personal stop motion renaissance.
